Last Night I Ate My Tea In The Style Of Tony O'Neill

Nose bag Tony style

I could go early doors and tackle the chilli in its own backyard-on the cooker simmering in the pot-but that was to easy and bang on top as the kitchen was crawling with dibble( the Mrs and baby actually-but lets not ruin a good story with facts-it's the Tony way).

It would have to be a snide ambush attack, so without thinking I jumped behind the couch and waited till I could smell the chilli, It wasn't long before I could hear the footsteps of the plod(Mrs) escorting the chilli into the living room, I would have to be quick, there would only be a small window of opportunity for me to get at the chilli(when the Mrs goes for the salt and pepper) So once the aroma of the Mexican dish entered my nasal passages and the dibble had retreated into the kitchen I was off. It was like showing a red rag to a bull, nothing could stop me. I was up and over the couch and in amongst the 'carne' within a millisecond, there must of been two, two fifty... yeah ... about three hundred little fluffs of rice all looking dead hard on the plate giving it the come-on but they were all basmati and no bite and what followed was total con-carne carnage. The chilli was going down spoon full after spoon full, it didn't take long for the boiled rice to join in but the rice was quickly despatched with. Soon there was only a few stragglers of con carne and boiled rice left on the plate and I left them to live another day.I was full, I 'd had my fix for the day, I was off to celebrate.

The plod was quickly back on the scene though, asking fucking questions as per " you must of been hungry love...... ready for your dessert yet?...... It's your favourite..... Manchester tart and cream."